The Last Carriage

I had been thinking about studying in the UK since 2012, but from 2020 onwards these thoughts took on a more structured form and crystallised into a concrete plan of action. In autumn 2021, I applied to three London art schools, intending to obtain a master’s degree there, to understand for myself how the academic and institutional worlds of contemporary art work from the inside in their Western (and therefore global) versions, make international connections, and return to
Moscow to continue developing my artistic practice, drawing on the knowledge and contacts gained in the UK.
However, the war forced a change of plans. I received an offer from Goldsmiths in mid-March 2022, when many Western brands had already publicly announced their withdrawal from the Russian market (so the very fact of receiving an offer from a British university in the context of the new geopolitical reality came
as a great surprise to me), and I seized this opportunity to leave the country. When I arrived in the UK in September 2022, I was faced with a choice regarding who I was now and whether I should alter my plans: that is, should I see myself as an immigrant grappling with the challenges of settling into a new country, or as a student focusing on my studies and artistic practice? I decided to stick to my original plan, shut myself off from the outside world and spent two years in the information bubble of Goldsmiths and its problems – which were quite detached from real life. The realisation that, in fact, I had been an immigrant for two years only dawned on me after I had finished my course. I see my own immigration as a form of shock therapy: in almost four years of living in the UK, I have never
once left the island. What’s more, I made my first—and so far only—trip outside even London just six months ago, to perform in Glasgow. The first few years in a new culture, without a moment’s respite, felt like hell; but now, unlike many acquaintances in the Russian-speaking community, I have absolutely no nostalgia or longing for home, national cuisine or the places of my childhood.