We soon went back to normal life, and the ups and downs that went with it. I would spend days preparing for Friday night dinners. Leo’s mother would visit, making him even more tense than usual. Gitelle and I would be so nervous.

One week, the atmosphere was particularly strained. Leo sat in silence before standing to say the ritual prayers, turning to me. He wasn’t saying the usual words, but was reciting the Jewish prayer for the dead. Over me.

He made my heart bleed.

I could barely stand. I no longer wanted to think of putting one foot in front of the other, sitting next to Leo, the scowl on his face, the anger he felt for me.

Please, no more. All I wanted to do was sleep. It was the only way I could escape my reality. Sleep. It would just take one pill. I took that pill - the pill that would take the noise away. To sleep and have no problems. Just one pill.

All went quiet for a while and, finally, Leo noticed me. He tried to make me keep walking, he tried to give me coffee. It didn't work.

I could hear everything, but could not respond. Very soon I was in another place. I had peace.